The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness
This is a simulation of a research experiment performed in 1997 by Dr. Arthur Aron. The study presented "a practical methodology for creating closeness in an experimental context." The results were that many of the students participating in the initial studies fell in love with each other. Consider this a risk factor.
We have reworked this study towards our own aims.
It would be in each player's favor to keep in mind:
- Attention is a choice.
- Attention connects.
- You are responsible for your own experience.
Four sets, each elaborating and intensifying the previous set. Take turns reading the questions in the order they appear. It's better to ask the most questions, not to give the best answers. Keep responses under two minutes.
Where do you live? With whom?
How much money do you make? How much do you earn?
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
When was the last time you walked for more than an hour? Describe where you went and what you saw?
When was the last time you were really sick? What kinds of emotions do you have when you are physically sick?
What, right now, is motivating your practice?
What is the best book you've read in the last year that your partner hasn't? Briefly tell them about it.
What do you demand of your colleagues? Your friends? Your lovers?
Describe the relationship between speed and desire. What is the relationship between what you want and how you want it?
When was the last time you were so focused on something you lost yourself completely? When was the last time you were distracted?
If you could change anything about your parents what would it be?
Do you have a hunch a secret hunch about how you will die?
One of you say a word, the next say a word that starts with the last letter of the word just said. Do this until you have said 20 words. Any words will do. You aren't making sense.
Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
Name one thing you would be surprised to have in common with your partner.
Is there something that you've dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
What do you value most in a friendship?
Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
When do you feel the most beautiful? What about the most sexy?
What do you think makes a good flirt? Are you?
How do you know when you are turned on? What does being turned on feel like?
Describe seduction. Can you remember a moment when you felt totally seduced?
What is consent? Where is it located?
If you were to give your partner a gift right now, what would you give them?
Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "we are both in this room feeling..."
Describe your sexuality using only verbs.
Is there something you're afraid to ask for?
Is there something you'd like more of right now?
How do you like to be touched? How do you touch yourself?
Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."
If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
Is there a question you'd like to be asked? Ask.
Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
Players will look into one another's eyes for four minutes.
Players may leave when the test is over.